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 True story. 

 We're sending passed apps during the cocktail hour of a rehearsal dinner last week.  A woman grabs one of my servers and announces, "I am allergic to tomatoes, garlic, green beans and corn, and, oh yeah, I don't do wheat either." 

  Gee, thanks for the heads up.  Don't bother with a phone call the day before, or even a couple of hours before, just announce to us right spack dab in the heat of the service your food phobias and we'll all stop trying to work for the other 47 people in the house right now to focus on your needs.

  Deep in the darkest parts of my mind I imagined myself dragging her by the hair to the alley out back and beating her senseless with the blunt side of my cleaver. Now, everyone put down your collective hands from your mouths because I would never do such a thing.  I don't look good in orange.

 Thanks for listening.

 On the other side of the pendulum lies the customers who trust us.  They will bring 10 or so of their friends and book the Space. (one grand minimum during the week ).  An adventurous group that if there are food qualms, we know ahead of time. Basically, they say to Tim and Vincent, let it rip. You see, we are at our best when set free. 


 We were happy to have such a group the other night.  We started them off with a little Charcuterie

On the left there is Rabbit sausage, in the center our own country ham, and in the foreground house smoked pistachio sausage.  There are also dishes of pickled vegetables.  For the first course, we have a medley of heirloom tomatoes.
 

 They are garnished with a fried squash blossom, basil, olive oil and  little pearls of balsamic vinegar ( a little molecular gastro trick).  Next we have seasonal Chanterelles paired with Diver Scallops.

 

That's a sweet potato coulis and sweet pecan dust also on the plate. Yeah, I know, the photo needs to be rotated.  I dropped off my photographer at college the day before so back off.

 Next is the salad course.  It featured "raviolis" (actually raw) made of thin sliced yellow beets filled with goat's cheese, and then endive, apple, arugula, pomegranate and more beets.

For the main course, we used local Rock Barn Pork Flank steak served over chiffonade of Kale, Lardon, red pepper and a sprinkle of corn.

Finally, a peach tart tatin topped with buttermilk sorbet.

We don't do these dinners for money, we do them because after 25 years, we still love cooking. It just needs to be on our terms.  Trust me, there is better value when we design the menu instead of you.  So the next time you have a group of friends and you want to go on a culinary adventure, drop me line and we'll be happy to cook for you. 

Pop'n up and Popped Corn

Been awhile, no excuse.

Actually I have three.  Internet at the house out, been busy (that's good), and I've been in a bureaucratic wrestling match with the ABC trying to be properly licensed to do these pop up dinners I've been talking about.  You see, we are able to do private events at the Space Downtown, and we will continue to do so.

What we would like to also do, is to open every now and then with a special menu, like a tasting menu for the first 30 people who sign up, or a family style night of fried chicken and bubbly, or a vertical tasting of seafood paired with wines.  See where we are trying to go?

You know, a little of this

 and this

 and this

Get the picture(s)?

The suits in Richmond apparently don't.  I pretty much verbatim, told them what I just typed above.  Judging by their reaction, they more or less heard something like the following.

What we would like to do is a state of the art meth lab.  Now, I've already obtained the service of four of the areas leading chemists (two of them tenured at the University) in an effort to produce the most pure blue crystal Central Virginia has ever seen.  We of course intend to distribute, and my need for a license is also such that we can serve booze with our impeccable ice.  If possible, could we expedite this license as, I'm sure you can appreciate, I have quite the payroll on my hands and the sooner I get approved and up and moving, the better. What'd think?

Just kidding.  For twenty two years weve always found the ABC to be easy to work with. I think we've just thrown them a curve ball in the midst of some of their latest turmoil.  How many private dining places are there and now who want to open now and then? We'll figure it out. 

So while I'm working on the license and you are awaiting the first episode of the last season of Breaking Bad ( wow, the timing of this blog ), make yourself some healthy popcorn featuring olive oil and nutritional  yeast.

Here's our lineup

That's a cup of organic popcorn ( on sale at IY right now), a tablespoon of cumin, two tablespoons nutritional yeast.  You will also need three tablespoons olive oil, and salt to taste. Line the bottom of the sauce pan with olive oil.  Lay a single layer of popcorn in the oil ( easy here, it will feed four).

 Cover and turn the heat to high.  Add the cumin.

Once we start popping, drop the heat to low. The oil is plenty hot and and we just need to get the whole gang to explode.  Remove from heat and pour into an over sized bowl. Add yeast, cumin, and salt.

You're all set.

Enjoy the first episode of Breaking Bad.

and wish me luck!

Fresh Mozzarella

My tomato plants have gone apeshit.

One of my top ten favorite words and what pray tell is its origin?   Crazy yes, but how it was derived from its compound pieces is beyond me. All I know is it’s so fitting for my 13 plants.  A couple weeks ago they seemed to be suffering from the onslaught of rain this past couple months, and then a week of sultry hot summer days and then BOOM! Insanity reigns.

The yellow cherries are climbing to a hanging branch from the Sugar Maple (Sistine Chapel like), the Roma is bum rushing the purple basil, the green zebras refuses to obey the rules of the tomato cage as it runs along the ground invading the onions, and the big boy has the lone sunflower in what seems to be a garden version of a full nelson. It’s out of control.

 Then there are two rogue fellas, one in the strawberry beds compliments of a shovel or two of compost , while the other sits anonymously on the edge of the perennial flower garden, 40 paces from the others acting like a  C model at an LA cocktail party ( can I get my cage now?)  God only knows where this bitch came from.

All this madness means we’re eating a lot of Caprese salads these days and that’s a good thing.  With the surviving basil, we need only fresh mozzarella, which is our little lesson for the day. Store bought “fresh” mozzarella is anything but its name.   Let’s face it. It is made somewhere, trucked to somewhere and then sitting somewhere until you buy its somewhere.

Folks, let’s cut out the middle people. We just need to score some curd.  Word has it Whole Foods sells it. It looks like this

One of the things I like about making my own mozzarella is that I control the salinity.  I like mine a bit salty, you might not.  So, in a sauce pan, heat enough water to cover the curd.  Add salt to your taste.  Again, mine is going to be close to brackish. 

Then cut your curd into large dice

Now place the curd into a bowl.

Just as your salted water comes to a simmer, pour it over the curd.

Now with a spoon stir the curd around in the hot water. Keep stirring and it will begin to look like this 

Once it really begins to take shape, pour it all in to a strainer to lose the water.  It should look like taffy

Get your self an ice bath.  To shape the curd, pull of quarter of what you see in the picture.  Roll it in your hand while poking at the bottom with one of your fingers

This takes a little practice but you can quickly get the hang of it.  See my middle finger on my left hand. It's doing the poking.  The rest of the gang is smoothing the curd into a ball.  When you are done, drop this in your ice bath to cool.

Repeat this for the rest of the curd.  When you are finished, slice the fresh mozzarella

Grab your bounty from the garden and do the same.

Arrange on a platter, and reap the benefits of summer.

And if this seems like too much hassle, check yourself at Bizou, they make it fresh every afternoon.

Salute!

Bruschetta

I’m sitting in my rocking chair on the front porch the other evening as my dog paces back and forth like he has won the lottery and doesn’t know where he buried his ticket.  Can’t I just relax? I’m also admiring the horses just across our quiet country road. 

I’ve thrown back a couple and seeing how my karma meter is tipping to E, I figure I'd give the ponies a treat. So I proceed to the fridge and grab a couple carrots.  Why carrots? They are longer than apples meaning less chance to have those horse teeth gnawing on my seasoning fingers.  

I walked across the road with my offering and tried to entice the horses towards me. As I leaned over the rope with my carrots I learn this “rope” is hot as it zapped my right hip. Thank god I didn’t come in parallel if you know what I mean.  After devouring both carrots, he tried to take a hunk out of my bicep.

So much for not biting hand that feeds you. .

Walking back to my house I got to thinking about the lowly carrot.  It’s not really in right now.  Nobody writes about them, nobody talks about them, nobody is making carrot chips. They are Kale of the eighties. Everyone is too enamored with Heirloom tomatoes, which brings me to the point of this post.

A couple weeks ago I had this pizza where carrots were tomatoes.  That’s right, instead of the usual marinara base, there was carrot puree, topped with walnuts, blue cheese, beet’s and red onion. I figure what’s good for pizza is good for bruschetta, so if you’re looking for that unique appetizer to jump start your next summer dinner party, its right here.

So humble. Don’t fret my little carrots, soon the fickle foodies will have you back on top of the world.

Peel and slice the carrots. Then arrange them in some foil with salt, black pepper, a little garlic, a drizzle of olive oil and a couple sprigs of rosemary.  Wrap it up and put in a 400 degree oven.

 This will take about 45 minutes to cook.  They are ready when you can insert a knife without any resistance. 

Discard the rosemary and transfer carrots to a blender or food processor

Flip the switch to puree, it should look like this

.

Now for the bruschetta, slice a baguette on the bias

Brush with olive oil and bake for 5 minutes or so

They should be lightly toasted, firm to the touch.  Now let's assemble the other ingredients. Julienne some beets

Chop some walnuts, crumble some blue

Then assemble these little beauties. Spoon on the puree, then add the beets, blue cheese and finally sprinkle with the nuts

Break out these puppies for your next dinner party and watch your guest salivate. 

Salute!

Wasabi Slaw

Came across this the other day on the web.

Don’t ask me why I was Googling images of my name.  Okay, ask.  So I was actually doing the same thing for my wife, the artist Sharon Shapiro, who judging from the vast array of images attached to her name makes her really popular.  Certainly my next train of thought (because they are simple thoughts) was to google mine.  I think I found one photo of me, amongst the hundreds of the English rock star who is using my name.

But I did come across the sign, and so I am taking it as a sign, from the universe of course, to get in the race for Mayor.  The only sticking point is I don’t live in the city, I’m in Louisa County.  Rests assure, I won't be dicking around with any county supervisor nonsense, no no.  If I am to be mayor, I am doing so with an iron fist my or the highway attitude. It seems the most proximate local to take over, excuse me, run for mayor, would be Ferncliff.

Now, for those of you unfamiliar with Ferncliff, it’s a small village just down the road from my place. Well, okay it’s actually an intersection.  It boasts a full service station (good luck finding those anymore), a market, a big church, and self-storage place slash tanning salon.  Yes, that last business is a combination. A brilliant idea.  The last time I had to put stuff in storage I was thinking, “you know, this is a pretty cool but what I’d really like right now is to lay in a tanning bed”.  

I’m feeling pretty confident and I’ll tell you why.  All politicians throw picnics, but how many of them actually do the cooking? See where I’m coming from?  I’ll be serving my Fried Chicken, Pulled Pork BBQ, Yeast Biscuits (those are all links by the way folks.  I know, I have to get on my tech team make them stand out more ) as well as all the fixings.  No ballot stuffing or hanging chad stuff needed here, it’s all about the food, baby, and by the looks of things, this election will soon be in the bag.

So while I’m mulling over paint swatches for my new Mayoral office (located in the back corner unit  of the storage/tanning place), I will share with you one of the side dishes for the upcoming picnic, Wasabi Slaw. 

2 cups shredded red cabbage

2 cups shredded green cabbage

3 medium carrots

1 english cucumber

1/3 cup Wasabi Powder

2/3 cup Hot Water

1 cup buttermilk

3 T sugar

3 T rice wine vinegar

2 T black/white sesame seeds

 That's Wasabi Powder. Please don't snort this.

Do add hot water.  The water must be hot, otherwise it will have an unbearable after taste.  

Mix to form a paste

Add the buttermilk, rice wine vinegar and sugar.  

Finally the sesame seeds.  Done.  At this point, this dressing is really hot.  If you want it to mellow, refrigerate for a couple hours and let the buttermilk work on the wasabi some. It will soften considerably.  

When you are ready give it all a good toss.  It's ready for the picnic, for some rare seared Tuna, or in my case last night, this Pork Loin. 

Yes, I do eat like that at home.  And you can too if you follow along and most importantly, cast your vote for me, Tim Burgess for Mayor of Ferncliff, come this fall.

Salute!