Roast Chicken

So here’s another thing that bothers me (since I can seemingly be bothered by any number of things), Roast Chicken.  Don’t get me wrong, I love a good roast Chicken, its just that every time I open a cookbook or read an interview with a famous chef there will be this exchange:

Do you ever cook at home? 

“Yes”

And what do you most like to cook at home?
To which the chef in his most affected Prince Charles accent,

“A roast chicken”

Now, maybe my grumpy meter is red lining right now because of Miami’s performance the other night.  Really? 16 points in the first half? 24 percent shooting?  I’m not sure which bothers me more, the loss or the inability of chefs to cook anything other than a Roast Chicken at home. (Last time I type Roast Chicken)

We had a guest last night and Sharon suggested I cook, you guessed it, and after throwing back a couple of these, 

 

I did what everybody else does and slapped a picture of this on Facebook bragging that I will show the world how to cook the perfect you know what.

 That’s the star of the show there in the foreground, surrounded by russet potatoes, Kale, and Cauliflower.  I don’t normally use Russet’s for whipped potatoes, but the Yukon’s were giving off a weird vibe at the store. Really. I’m not saying food speaks to me in the same manner, say my daughter does, but I often chat with my bread dough.

Anyway, here’s my secret to good R______ C______. First, turn the oven to 450 and get it hot!   Rub the bird thoroughly with olive oil and then ( and this is the most important thing) season it liberally with your salt of choice.  Now, if you are one of those people who are averse to salt, then kindly hit the back button there at the top left of this page and go back to whatever diet planet you came from because I cannot help you.  Take your pepper grinder and do the same. I mean season it, don’t leave with it.

Cut 2 lemons in quarters.  Stuff the lemons and 6 healthy springs of rosemary (which you undoubtedly clipped from a bush just outside your kitchen, and if you didn’t, then plant one tomorrow. I don't care what your house looks like if you have a rosemary bush outside then you have a cool house) into the cavity of the bird.

That’s it!   Put that bad boy into your hot oven and cook it at the high temp for 30 minutes.  It should be nice and brown.  Then, drop the temperature to 350 and cook it another 35-45 minutes, depending on the size of the bird.  Remember, the last part of the bird to cook will be the inner thigh, so to be sure its done, simply take knife and prick the flesh at this point and see if the juice runs clear.  If it is, you’re done, if its pinkish, cook it a little more.

Should look something like this



Transfer the bird to a platter and set it in a warm spot.  At some point during the last hour or so, it would have been nice if you had chopped a half an onion and pasted 3 or 4 cloves of garlic.  You'll need that now for the Kale.  Now, look down into your roasting pan, notice those juices, start clapping your hands, nodding your head several times, and let go of a "Yeeeeaaah Boy!" because your staring at gold and your family needs to get excited about this meal, AND they need to understand you are in complete command of the kitchen right now.

Toss the onions and garlic in the juices for a minute, then add your chopped kale.  Season lightly (the juices are pretty seasoned,  and cook until the kale wilts.  Done. Serve with Whipped Potatoes ( do I really need to tell you how? Okay, hint, warm your butter and/or milk product before you add to the potatoes), roasted cauliflower, yeast biscuits.  Recipes for which (if you can call it that) another time.

Enjoy